Hard things

I can't remember how I came to have this book, it was probably given to me at the time, but during Rich's hospitalization, I read a book named, "Prayers that bring miracles" by Stephen M. Bird. If I had to guess, I would say that Teresa Russell gave it to me.  (She is a living angel, by the way!)

Here is a story from the book:

"I remember the story of a rich woman who registered in a lavish hotel.  Servants followed her, pushing her son along in a wheelchair.  Since his leg muscles were not atrophied, a guest asked what casued her son's paralysis.  She replies, "Oh, he can walk, but thank God he doesn't have to."

Has this mother built her son's confidence?  Has she expanded his initiative?  Consider the ugliness of his assenting uselessness. Consider the damage to his soul and self-esteem.  Consider how she has diminished his sense of contribution to the people around him.  Could he really feel good about himself, knowing he is doing nothing useful or helpful for anyone else?

We spoil children if we grant every selfish wish or protect them from every disappointment and challenge.  We cripple their growth if we gratify their every appetite and feed them when they are full.  It is indulgence that leads us to entertain them rather than teach them.  When we carry children who should walk, we eliminate their frustration for the moment, but we diminish their long-range possibilities.  Indulgence sacrifices character for pleasure."

This story stuck with me because I was so shocked at what this woman did. How can anyone be so selfish?  Yet, if we step in when we shouldn't, and help someone do something that they need to learn to do themselves, we are this mother.  Richard couldn't walk at the time I read this. We were told he never would. We could have taken that professional assessment and been satisfied with it.  Neither of us did.  I am grateful that Richard worked so hard and so long through so much pain so that he could walk again. I know it wasn't easy. Nothing in life worth having is ever easy. When the space race started, John Kennedy said, "We will go to the moon.. not because it is easy, but because it is hard." There is a sense of accomplishment in doing something hard that someone who takes the easy way will never know.  I swore I would never be the woman in that story.  I have done many things wrong, but I hope I have succeeded in that one goal.

In a wheelchair before learning to walk at HealthSouth

Six years later and walking like a champ.