Getting on with Life

At some point you have to get on with your life. The question is how do you do that?  Life will never be the same again.  You know it and everyone else knows it.

The truth is, things will probably never be the way they were before the accident.  The best thing to do is admit that and accept it. Things will not be the same, but that doesn't mean that things will not be good.

For awhile I would get asked, "When can Richard go back to work?"  The short answer is "Never."  He can never do what he studied years to do.  He can never have the kind of job he used to have.  He can never make the kind of money that he used to make. Ever.

The accident happened right after Richard's 50th birthday and it has now been almost 10 years since then.  He wanted to retire somewhat early, but we surely didn't expect it to be that early!

Getting on with your life in these circumstances means that you start living your new reality.  The new reality may be that you can't do that job anymore.  You may have to find a new job.  The dynamics of your relationships will be different.  You may not be able to do things that you used to do for recreation, but there are still things you CAN  do, and you SHOULD do them. The truth is that you can't go back to life the way it used to be, but you can create a wonderful life under the present circumstances. Men often get their self-worth through their jobs. It is hard for them to lose that, especially when you had a job like Richard's job. It was unique, important, and was of benefit to our country. He was proud of his job, and he had the right to be. It is hard to have that taken away so abruptly.   But the truth is, everyone is more than what they do or where they work.

We went on a cruise with Richard in a wheelchair, and I have to tell you, the handicapped cabins on Disney's cruise ships are to die for! (See pictures!) We would have never seen that and experienced it if it were not for this situation. Richard would have never had the opportunity to be Santa if it were not for our situation. The positive things include:

• the ability to have the best parking in the place, 
• we are often seated first and in the best seats at events, 
• Richard doesn't have to deal with workplace drama anymore, 
• we get preferential seating on an airplane and get to pre-board, 
• we get to go to the head of the line in Nevada for government services like the DMV, 
• we also have a golden access card to get in free to all the National Parks and any affliated parks forever. 
• finding new passions that you didn't have time to discover before. 

There are benefits.


The hardest thing is to stop talking about it. Richard loves to talk about it, and could go on for hours, but most of us have heard it all by now.  If you want to know, ask.  If you don't want to know, tell us. It's okay if you don't want to hear about it.

Mostly laugh, love, and enjoy the times you have together, because you almost didnt' have them at all.  Do the things that you have wanted to do but have kept putting off for one reason or another. This is the beginning of the rest of your life.  What are you going to do with it?

This is our cabin.  It bascially had two rooms and a bathroom as big as one of them.  

And this is our deck - yes, the whole thing belonged to us.  It was our private deck!