How can I help?

This was a violinist at Mayo clinic playing in the cafeteria area. 

When a person is in the middle of a crisis, there are many people around them that want to help.  The problem is that people generally don't know how to help.  The purpose of this post is to help you know some things that you can do to help.

Every situation will be different, but I am coming at this from my viewpoint so it is best used for people who have someone in the hospital for an extended period of time, especially if the hospital is far from home.

• Gift cards for food
• Magazines, reading materials, snacks.  Find out a favorite snack or two and provide them. 
• Running errands
• Providing rides, food, tutoring, etc. for children at home
• A room or home for them to stay in close to the hospital.  
• Having someone else there when the doctor talks to you makes a real difference as well.
• Sitting with the family while they are in the hospital or their family member is having surgery
• Watching children for family that wants to go into ICU while the children cannot.
• Do yard work, house work, etc. for a home that they may or may not be living in.
• Listen.  The family usually needs to talk. 
• Provide religious support if needed.  We got priesthood blessings and hold fasts, but each religion will have their own ways of dealing with crisis. 
• Be supportive of religious and spiritual needs.
• Send cards.
• If you have expertise in legal documents, provide advice for insurances, taxes, etc. offer it.  
• Organizing bills to provide due dates, etc. 
• Finding items and documents at home and taking them to the hospital. 
• Research medical procedures, government offices overseeing the facilities the patient is staying in, etc.
• Provide Audio books of interest for patient. 
• Financial contributions to an account set up for that purpose  (You might want to ask what the contributions will be used for before you make this decision.) 
• Provide rides for family members to the hospital for a visit while you are there for another reason.  
• CDs of harp music or other soothing music
• Contact people that the family might have appointments with to cancel them.  
• Take the caregiver to a movie or dinner to get away.  
• Email or Facebook message, just to let them know that you are thinking of them.
• Balloons
• If you play a musical instrument, come to the healthcare facility and play.  Everyone in the place loves it, especially when it is soothing music.  
• Read a book to the patient. 
• Give the patient a foot massage. (or whatever body part is not injured)   
• Go to the hospital and give the patient a haircut, especially if they have been in there a long time.  
• Write thank you notes for the family.  My sister-in-law did this, and I just provided a list of who to send a card to and why.  
• Pray.  I was surprised at the strength I felt through the prayers of others.  

One thing you can't do is represent the family when privacy laws might be in force. There are a lot of privacy laws that make this situation more difficult because it is just one more thing that the caregiver has to take care of personally, and there are already too many of those.