Saturday, January 3, 2015

Putting down roots

When we are teenagers, we think we need to get out of the place that we grew up in. Some people do, and never look back. Some people say that as a teen, but then stay around town. I never said that, I don't recall even thinking that, but I did leave.  I've been away from my home town for a very long time. At one point I moved to a neighboring town for six years. But the majority of my life has been spent in places very far from my home town. In retrospect, I can see the problems with what I did, and I can also see benefits. I'd like to share them with you. When you were starting your career, you go where the jobs are. I still think this is true and I don't think that doing otherwise is a smart financial decision. That being said, I wish I would have stayed closer to home. I'll tell you why. I grew up in Central Florida and stayed there until I went to college. I went to college at first in Orlando, about an hour and a half from home. Then I moved across the country to finish my degree. I ended up marrying a man from the other side of the country and we have lived in Utah, Florida, Georgia, New Mexico, Nevada, New Mexico again, and Nevada again. Because of Facebook and because I am determined, I can keep in touch with the people that I've met in my life. However the people that surround me, and the I interact with daily, don't know my past. They may know parts of it, but they don't know all of it. Sometimes I wish that I could be with people who knew my past. I've now lived in Nevada for the second time for four years. And there are a few people that know a few of the things that have happened to us in the past. But there isn't anyone who knows it all. My daughter and my grandkids live close to us and they know a great deal. They know more than anyone else around here. But when I see family members and friends that have lived in one location their entire life, I'm a little envious. I'm envious of those long friendships that they can enjoy every day. I'm envious of that the people they spend time with truly understand them. They understand the trials they had, and they understand the triumphs they had. There is something bonding about going through life experiences with someone. If you're there and see what goes on day by day it gives you an understanding that cannot be experienced in any other way. I feel like I've been misunderstood by people for most of my life. I think this is because they don't truly know my history. I have struggled with a teenager who wants to badmouth their parents. I understand that tendency, but if you haven't lived in a place long, people tend to believe those things. I learned that there are always two sides to a story. If you are economically prosperous in an area, people think you always have been. If you are needing help at a point in your life. The people around you think you're always needing help. None of those things are always true. At least for me, I had times that I've struggled financially, emotionally, and spiritually. There been times that I have been a rock of strength through a very difficult situatin. There've been times when both Richard and I were very successful in our careers and in our financial affairs. There were times that I felt guilty for success, because I had known a life without success. There are times when I was a community leader, and there are times that I spent most of the time in my house. They're always seasons to life. I understand that. But I wish the people that lived near me now knew about other experiences, other times, other situations in my life, and they don't. They aren't interested, and I'm not going to bore them with details that they're not interested in. 
There are good things about being able to start over, but I have worked all my life to make a good name for myself, and nobody here knows that.  They don't know that I gave up my teaching career that I loved, so that I could take care of a disabled husband.  They don't know that he used to be an electrical engineer and worked with nuclear materials for many years.  They don't know that he was a national leader in lightning protection. They don't know that he was an Eagle Scout. They don't know that when I married him, he was a bank teller, and we put him through college by working together, all while raising two girls. They don't know that we were evacuated from our home and our town when it was on fire. They don't know the months that we spent sitting in a trauma ICU unit and rehab centers. They don't understand the miracle of having my husband around at all.  They don't know why I don't want to live in a place that is cold and has icy roads. They don't know that we've lived around some very humble, and mentally challenged people. They don't know that we've lived around some of the smartest people in the world and in fact lived in a community full of them. They don't know that I've dealt with autism in my own family and raised a child with asperger's syndrome. They don't know that we are dealing with post traumatic stress and traumatic brain injuries and the after-effects of them every day. They don't know that I've taught special-education. They don't know that I taught some of the most gifted kids ever to go through public schools in the United States, and they certainly don't know how much I loved it, or even how good I was at it. They don't know that I've taught kids that didn't know where their next meal would come from. The truth is, some of them done don't even know that I've ever taught. They don't know that I have been hugged by teen idol and a prophet. They don't know the church callings that I've had, and I don't want them to know that because I want to exalt myself in some way, but I do want them to know so that my talents and experiences can be utilized in a more productive way. I feel all these experiences have been very helpful for me but they could also be helpful to others if they knew about them. I am by nature, an introvert.  I have a hard time sharing things of a personal nature, especially if I don't feel safe in doing so. If I had more of a history with the people that I'm surrounded with, life it could be very different. If you live around people that you've known your entire life, you are very lucky, and in many ways I'm very envious. Cherish it. Cherish those people that you share so much history with.  Not all of us are that fortunate. 

If you are young and deciding where to live, put down roots.  Pick a place and stay there.  There are many benefits in doing so.  I hope this explains a few of them. 

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