Premonition

Before the accident Richard had a premonition of a car accident. He saw it one morning on the way to work. He thought that it was going to take his life, so he was trying to take care of things before he died.  I didn't know any of this!

Richard was having health issues that we were trying to deal with and figure out the causes of them.  He had been going to a pulmonologist and had just been put on oxygen.  He had high levels of red blood cells and had to be given phlebotomies regularly in order to keep the red blood cell levels down.

In spite of the fact that I didn't know about the premonition, I knew something was going on with him.  We were making plans to go on an Alaskan Cruise with friends of ours for our 25th wedding anniversary.  In spite of that, he seemed angry all the time.  He yelled a lot and I could tell that he seemed overwhelmed with things.  I knew that things at work had been difficult and that is what I chalked it up to.  It was clear to me that he was depressed.

When my bishop came to the hospital after the accident, before he was life flighted to Albuqerque, I told him that if it was going to take Richard fighting for his life for him to live, I didn't think he would fight. My bishop said to me, "Don't you think you are worth fighting for?"  I really didn't. It had been miserable at our home for some time.

A social worker came to see me before Richard left UNM asking me questions that lead me to believe that they thought this accident might have been intentional on his part.  They concluded that it was not. I concur with that assessment.

I guess part of his stress at the time was the premonition that he had, and the pressure he felt to get things ready for his death, which he thought would happen.  He thought he had more time to get ready, but I guess that it one of those things you never know how much time you will have to get ready for.

There are many lessons to be learned through all of this, and to list all the things I have learned would be impossible, but I will give you an idea of some of the things I have learned.

• If the Lord wants to get your attention, he will. 
• The Lord has a way of teaching us what we need to learn, and it isn't always pleasant.  This is not because he doesn't love us, but because he does. 
• It is better to learn the lessons on your own or through somone else's experience than to have to be taught by your own experience.  
• In spite of all you are going through, the Lord is ALWAYS there to help you through it.  
• Sometimes the Lord gives us warnings before something life changing occurs.  
• Things that seem difficult at the time might seem very minor in comparison in a very short period of time. 
• Life is not all about work.
• There are SO many good people in the world!  
• My family will always be there for me, and so will my close friends.  I learned who I can count on.  
• I have the best kids anywhere!  
• Life can change in an instant. 
• Bad things seem to happen quickly, while good things seem to take more time.  
• I couldn't have done any of this if it were not for the employees at Chamisa Elementary School in 2008 or the members of the White Rock Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in 2008.  
• There are a lot of lonely people out there that don't have anyone they can count on.  
• Being a care taker is harder than I thought it would be. 
• I hate ice and snow.  (I knew that already, but this kind of sealed the deal!) 
• You can find things to laugh about, even under the most horrific circumstances.  
• Pain levels are subjective.