I didn't think it would really matter, but I have begun to realize that there are many down sides to moving around as much as we have. There are obvious financial obligations associated with any move. Many times that we moved, we were fortunate to have the move paid for by Rich's work, but that has not always been the case. Moving is expensive in many respects. Just think about all the window coverings in that list!
We have owned six houses and only one of them was new when we purchased it, so all of them needed some work done to them. Some of them needed major work done. We made money on the sale of two of the times we listed our house. The other times we either broke even or lost money. I am not complaining. For the most part, I have loved the homes that I have owned. There was one that I really didn't like, but the rest of them, I did like them and it was hard to leave them. It was especially hard to leave my first one. I loved that home in Vidalia, GA. But the worst thing is that just when I got each house the way I wanted it, we moved away and sold it.
We have been in more church congregations than we have been in houses because we did rent several houses as well through the years. It takes time to get to know people and to get to be known to others. I feel that I could have really made more of a difference in those congregations if I had stayed in them longer. Our average in each is about 6 years. My favorite ward (congregation) was in New Mexico, where Rich's accident occurred, mainly because those people really rallied around us when we needed it. It was also because we were in that ward twice for 6 years each time, so we were in that ward twice as long as any of our other wards.
My kids changed schools a lot, and that was hard on them. I wish we didn't have to do that to them.
The good thing is that I have friends all over the country. The bad thing is that didn't have enough time with any of them. Some times it seemed that just as we were getting to really know a family, either we would move or they would. I believe that friends can be forever, but it hurts to leave them, even when Facebook makes it easy to keep up with people, you don't really know what is going on in the details of their lives unless you are there for the details. That makes me sad. Some people share a lot of Facebook, and some people don't. Some people just share the good things, and that makes it hard to be there for your friends when they really need you.
We have lived a long time, and we have gone through some very difficult things, and yet no one in any of those locations was with us during all those times, so they are understanding a part of our story. All of all stories make up who we are. Without understanding them, you can't understand US, and because of that, we don't feel fully accepted in the community. We have watched people here go through hard things, and everyone is supportive and loving through the things themselves, because they saw them. They didn't see our hard things, so it is like they never happened. They don't seem to want to look into what makes us the way we are, or to show any compassion for the hard things that we have experienced. It is not totally their fault. They don't know those things, so they can't see the growth of our character because of them.
Sometimes I feel that I am on the outside looking in at the relationships that other people are able to develop because of a lifetime of friendship. I have some very close friends in Florida that I grew up with that I still feel very close to, but it is not the same as living close and sharing daily struggles. The same is true with every place that I have lived and every close friend that I have. I would just love to sit down and talk to them individually to find out the real details of their lives and share mine with them as well. That is harder over long distances and many years. I don't stop caring about someone just because I don't see them all the time.
When I look back at the choices that we made about where we lived, there are very few of them I would change given the circumstances at the time. Still, I think I could have made a bigger contribution to my community, whichever one it was, if we had spent a lifetime there.
If I had one bit of advice for you, my readers, it is to find a place to call home and stay there. Develop bonds that will last a lifetime, and don't think that you are missing out because you have stayed in one place your entire life. There are many blessings in that.
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| Our first home in Vidalia, GA |
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