Grandmothers and cooking

My Maternal Grandmother

My daugther pointed something out to me that I had never thought about before.  Both of my grandmothers died when my parents were 16 years old.  It was a huge event in both of their lives and I knew it from the time I could understand language.

Because of this fact, and the fact that my mom's mother was sick for a period of time before she finally passed, my mother did not receive a lot of direction on how to cook for a family.  My mom could make a turkey dinner, because my grandmother thought that was important, and she made a point of teaching her that before she died.  Otherwise, my mother was not a great cook.

One time I asked my neighbor for the recipe of a yummy home made bread that she had shared with me.  She said, "Oh, I just used my mother's recipe.  Make it the same as your mother made it."  I laughed.  My mother never made a loaf of bread in her life!  I wouldn't have asked if I already had a recipe that worked for me.  I have made bread several times in my life, but I never made it consistently, and it was and still is challenging for me, even with a bread maker.

My cooking is better than my mother's with much more variety than she had, but I am not a great cook. I tease my husband when I say, "You married me for my good looks, not my cooking." Still, my mom never made much but meat and vegetables out of a can or freezer. I know how to cook potatoes from her, but I don't remember her ever cooking rice.

My daughters' cooking is probably better than mine and their daughters' will be better than theirs. But the fact is, having these two women die before their times almost a hundred years ago still has an impact on my family today. Anytime someone makes a decision to leave their family or who doesn't have a choice, like my grandmothers, leave scars in families that take generations to heal. Having a mother stay in your life is not something to take for granted. I am grateful that my mom lived as long as she did, which was longer than her mother, but it was NOT long enough.  She died before I was 40 years old. I could have used her during those times when I was raising teenage children, and it might have made a very big difference, but she wasn't.  If you still have your mom, especially if you are over 40, you are very fortunate.  Don't take it for granted, and don't take all those things you learned from generations of women before you for granted either.  They bless your lives in ways you have probably never thought of before.